Questions, comments (and plot holes) after watching Star Wars Episode VII The Force Awakens

1) Big question: Why on earth did Disney (JJA et al) remake A New Hope? Many fans are not dumb.

2) It seems odd that Luke Skywalker, the great Jedi hero, would run away just because some rebellious school drop out, his nephew, turned to the Dark Side (and still isn’t a great Dark Side Warrior). Rather, the Luke we know would have faced this new threat, not runaway and abandon his twin sister and good friend Han. Going into exile reeks of a copycapy of the EU/Legend books (which I’ve not read) where Luke there did the same thing.

3) BB-8. Cute and R2 replacement. But one, how can he/it roll on any surface so well? Frictionless? And not get dirty–moving on sand, spaceship, forest and grass (Resistance base) and other surfaces? And move down and up stairs with ease.

4) Why the cocky remark from Poe? Usually that means a Force choke. Vader would have done that. I guess Kylo, the Vader wannabe, didn’t know how to?

5) (Move back a bit)–How come suddenly Stormtroopers or people bleed. Let me remind you of the OT: Lots of Stormtroopers died but none of them bled or wiped blood on others nearby. Leia was shot in ROTJ and not much blood on her or Han’s arm. Suddenly in TFA, a stormtrooper can slowly die and wipe blood on his comrade?

6) Relating to 5, how does “Finn” know his friend is the one shot? There’s no clear ID tag on any Stormtrooper’s back or front.

7) Kylo can stop a laser bolt in mid-air. Cool. Apparently only once. Later, Chewie can shoot and he can’t stop the bolt.

9) That instantly bread was cool but a bit unhygienic–stirring with your finger which just collected dirty scrap.

10) Playing with a helmet which you can’t see throught?

11) Guarding one suspect with one guard? In ANH, ESB and ROTJ, many stormtroopers guarded prisoner(s). And since when can just one other stormtrooper ask another to say “hey, Ren wants him?” No authorisation double check? And one stormtrooper escorting one prisoner? Han and Luke as stormtroopes escorted one “prisoner” aka Chewie.

12) Escape via two seater TIE. Great coincidence there’s such a fighter–in the OT people had to use the Falcon or a shuttle. Then wow, the TIE fighter doesn’t get damaged by heavy laser blasts. Then the Star Destroyer doesn’t have many guns–just one tractor beam that can be shot at (in the OT, OBWK had to disable it internally) and one turbolaser. No TIE fighters lauched to shoot it down. Got special missiles that the real world would love.

13) Poe crashes but goes missing. Nearly an hour later, he returns in a X-Wing over a lake and somehow later, talks to be person who helped him escape. But how did he escape from the crashed TIE and head back to the Resistance? His aim was to find BB-8. He clearly didn’t do that. Not punished? Just allowed back in a X-Wing without a BB unit?

14) Poe has a Stormtrooper armour and belt on. No water canteen? I believe books and cartoons etc show Stormtroopers are hydrated somehow. Why so sweaty?

15) Amazing that hey! I crash-land and hey! There’s a settlement nearby. R2 and Threepio had to walk for long before being captured. (Uh, BB-8 rolled as well before being captured)

16) Backtrack–Teedo the captor of BB-8, easily gives the beach ball droid away. But hey, Rey was armed only with a staff. Who gives a captive away so easily?

17) Water, I need water. Yes, you drink unhygienic water. Why no diarrhoea later?

18) You are a stormtrooper you fool. And you are beaten in combat by some girl who lived alone for years. Oh wait, later we learn you are a sanitation boy. No wonder.

19) Boy grabs girl hand. So ungentlemanly unlike Han and Leia’s first meet. Girl grabs boy hand. Feminist superiority.

20) Lazy writing: The Millennium Falcon suddenly appears!!! Han and Chewie (and Lando) lost it after 30 years. So out of Star Wars universe.

21) Scavenger girl can fly the plane better than Han Solo or even Lando. Oh this point is picked up later. (Starting to be worse than young boy “Annie” flying a pod.)

22) Only 2 TIE fighters chasing after two people and a beach ball droid. Great work FO! Oh wait, no, General Hux.

23) Backtrack–Hux is a young general. Either the Empire lost all Admiral Piett style officers or this is so out of place. As is Captain Phasma. Not Captain or military material at all.

24) Ball droids have hooks. R2 in the OT rolled backwards when the Falcon dived or jumped into lightspeed. But no, beach balls don’t.

25) Lazy writing: Apparently, it’s ok once you are in space. A girl who has never been to knows a “junk” ship better than a Stormtrooper traitor. A junk ship that has not flown in years can be repaired. A junk ship that is junk has working oxygen masks and still clean and spacious cargo holds.

26) Lazy writing: Han and Chewie can enter the Falcon so easily. No lock?

27) Han and Chewie make the silliest mistake than no real human would–check your vehicle. If you have a stolen car than you find, checking it is the first thing you do. No, immediately you find the traitor and the girl and the beach ball droid.

28) No interrogation. Chewie doesnt snarl at the trio. Instead Han asks simple questions. He accepts their story. Especially liar Finn.

29) Instead of staying the Falcon, Han tries to talk down two criminal gangs. We learn he can’t talk down people–Greedo and Jabba in the OT. So 30 years later, he thinks he can?

30) Backtrack. Han and Chewie, OT characters are portrayed as losers. From Rebel heroes they are not Octopussy (sorry I couldn’t resist) haulers. Ie, selling animals to people. WTH is this?

31) Expected plot: Of course those Octopussies would be released by magical girl. Wait, the Force has been strong with Rey. Why let it release animals that nearly kill a traitor boy?

32) Role reversal: Girl rescues boy.

33) Bit of lazy writing: You can head into hyperspace from a cargo hold? Did you even set coordinates?

34) Why not ask BB-8 or force it to set coordinates? Why the big detour to Maz?

35) Rey is shown to be arrogant, refusing a blaster. Actually, since when do blasters have safeties?

36) Finn lies, suddenly there’s this magical shorty ass who knows the Force and reads eyes. Really so out of place.

37) You can walk around an unknown castle with escort.

38) No explanation why Maz would have Luke’s lightsaber. Why is it in an unsecured location. Why, in both OT and PT, no one had super Force visions?

39) It appears than Obi-Wan and Yoda can speak to Rey. But hey, they should have done so to Luke post ROTJ and stopped the Ben Solo/Kylo mess. Apparently, I guess, the Force wants destruction before balance. As the story goes…

40) You can live alone well on a desert planet. But suddenly you run to a forest and later get captured. Oh yeah, no parental guidance.

41) Finn with a lightsaber. So out of place. (Not racist)

42) Show off Stormtrooper. Just shoot the traitor. Or throw thermal detonators.

43) The Force wasn’t strong with Rey caused she’s captured. She can fly, fix craft but run way from a lightsaber, and you lose. Moral of the story. Don’t run away from lightsabers and let traitors use it.

44) Poe suddenly reappears, see point 13. Then how does Finn know it it him? Also, who is helping Poe in the droid socket? BB-9?

45) Why would Leia, as a General, want to appear on this planet? You hate Han, you are a General, but you got the time to fly to see him?

46) No explanation over C-3PO’s red arm. Or less annoying voice.

47) Finn lying again, to Leia.

48) Leia makes a big mistake–you trust Finn so easily? Defectors can be double agents or liars–which Finn was. No background check? Oh, he worked on base. He knows the layout. Clearly later, he doesn’t. Sanitation boy!!!

49) R2-D2 has been sleeping/low power mode? Cannot charge him back up? No technician can rip away his memory? Only will wake up later?

50) OT: Death Star One plans had to be analysed carefully. But no, all you need is a liar’s account, plus a miraculous reconnaissance (pilot didn’t get noticed by the FO?) and you see the weak point and have a battle plan?

51) ROTJ and Endor–Rebels send a strike team plus Han et al. Against a super duper Death Star, the Resistance send a defector (later sanitation boy), Han and Chewie. Great General leadership Leia!!!

51) Rey’s resistance of Kylo. Not as cool as Leia’s resistance of an interrogation droid–who tortured her.

52) Greg Grunberg as a bearded X-Wing pilot just looks like Porkins 2.0.

53) Sanitation. Traitor/Defector, liar, useless bum, now defector. Compare that to savior of a Princess/droid, freelance fighter for the rebels and finally Rebel hero and general. *facepalm*

54) The Jedi Mind Trick. Super girl/Mary Sue. Luke took three movies to perform only one successful mind trick on Jabba’s assistant. Failed on Jabba. In PT, only once QGJ and he failed. This Mary Sue could suceeded after the second time in minutes?!

55) Tactical error again: You leave ONE! Stormtrooper guarding a girl who you just found to be Force-sensitive? You are a loser, school drop out Kylo/Ben/whatever cock name you are.

56) Supreme Leader cannot sense girl is Force Sensitive. Palpatine could in ESB. Some supreme leader.

57) Stormtrooper dropped weapon. But his comrades never see or alert others? Takes a half-trained Jedi/school drop out to find out? Then the base reaction–slower than those on Death Star 1?

58) Captain Phasma is practically useless. No struggle to surrender. No tricking captors–yessir, I’ll disable the shields. So willing. If she survived, she ought be Private Phasma or booted out.

59) One great super duper weapon, defended by only TIE fighters and some turbolasers. One great superweapon, attacked only by some X-Wings? A, B and Y? No other Resistance ships? All blown away or in repair?

60) Of course when you send only a pitiful number of X-Wings, you can’t destroy a base. Yet, only a few explosives can blow a hole?

61) How ridiculous is it that Kylo can sense Daddy but can”t detect him when he’s really nearby? How much of a Jedi are you?

62) How ridiculous is it that Han thought he could suceeded in talking down his Jedi son? Leia should have been the one to do it–she risked her life on Endor.

63) As said in point 7), Kylo failed to stop Chewie’s laer bolts. People say he was disturbed after killing Daddy. So? The Force stopped at that moment?

64) Apparently, the Force also prevented Rey from running fast enough. Or, the Force made injured Kylo spring out of the base into the woods.

65) Backtrack: Sanitation boy! It is a insulted to a coloured actor/character.

66) The Kylo vs Rey & Sanitation boy fight: Mary Sue wins. The Force can truly screw you and help you, despite never holding a lightsaber before initially complaining you don’t want it.

67) Terrible forced loved scene crying over unconscious boy. Compare to Han and Leia in ANH.

68) Wookie not loved–Leia hugs Mary Sue, not Chewie, who lost his best friend. Demote and punish the General!

69) R2 is out of his coma!! Or the Force Awakens.

70) All it is was a missing map. Hello, you electronic people in the Resistance–you couldn’t solve the puzzle? Only R2 can? Or are there dummies in the Resistance?

71) Backtrack: What the Hell was Admiral Ackbar doing there? It wasn’t a trap at all. No leadership again.

72) You found where you brother is. All you send is a dejected Wookie, a woken droid, and some Mary Sue you hardly know? Isn’t that an insult? If I were Luke I would tell them Leia is so thankless, FO. (No not the First Order).

73) Pretty beautiful place for the “First Jedi Temple”. So Obi-Wan lied again–never told Luke in the OT? Or PT? Maz, the Fore know-it-all, doesn’t know?

74) No “hello, who the hell are you?” by Luke?

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